Kansas Education Board Touts Flat Earth Curriculum
May 11, 2006 -- The Kansas Education Board, which gained new momentum in its efforts to "de-emphasize" rational scientific inquiry after a decision last November requiring Kansas teachers to define the widely accepted theory of evolution as "godless Communist propaganda" in favor of creationism, also known as intelligent design, is now promoting a full-fledged faith-based curriculum touted by the board as "the One True Way".
Earth (side view)
Organic Windows Vista Virus Can Target Computers Even When Powered Down
Bolton, Wyoming, March 29, 2007 -- A new threat affecting Microsoft Windows Vista, the widely anticipated operating system already plagued by major bug issues and release delays, may seriously limit industry rollout, security analysts said today.
Closeup of the Vista Dysentery.Net-Worm virus
Windows Vista Startup Music Designed on Macs
Seattle, February 27, 2007 -- Microsoft Corporation refused to comment today on the embarrassing revelation that the new Windows Vista "startup music", the musical vignette that is played to calm and distract users while waiting for the operating system to boot up, was created exclusively on Apple computer systems.
Windows Vista logo
The inflammatory tidbit was reportedly let slip during an off-the-record interview of a composer on the 20-member team that worked for 18 months to create the harmonic snippet.
Citigroup, Bank of America Announce ATM Instant Equity Exchange Program
New York, April 6, 2009 -- Citigroup (NYSE: C) and Bank of America (NYSE: BAC) today jointly announced the launch of an innovative program, dubbed ATM Instant Equity Exchange, under which the two banks will commence dispensing stock vouchers rather than cash from ATMs under their control. Wells Fargo (NYSE: WFC) is expected to sign on to the program later in the week.
Citibank, co-founder of the AIEE! program: Photo (CC) Ed Yourdon.
New Wal-Mart Fitness Policy Breaks Ground for Employee Health
Bentonville, Arkansas, January 22, 2006 -- Wal-Mart's new employee fitness program has been a "dazzling success" in the first three months of its operation, a Wal-Mart spokesman, Chip Kraippe, said yesterday. The new policy, which was announced by the unusual means of a closely-held internal memo that was leaked in October of last year, dictates that all Wal-Mart employees are required to perform at least one hour of high-impact physical activity each day, regardless of their duty assignment.
Horoscope Correctly Predicts Demise of Taurus
Wakka Wakka, Texas, June 30, 2019 -- Astrological aficionados born in the months of April and May were briefly shocked yesterday to read a chilling prediction posted in the Dallas/Ft.Worth Rancher's Almanac. The horoscope entry, which according to horoscope specialists was an unusually categorical example of the genre, read, simply, "Taurus: You die today."
Taurus – astrological sign (no longer applicable to the living): Image: Digital Sky LLC
Talking Points Delivery Mix-up Shakes American Right Wing
Washington, D.C., February 22, 2006 -- A mix-up in the labeling of conservative talking points transmitted by the Bush administration yesterday reportedly led to widespread confusion among the extensive network of radio, television and internet commentators used to disseminate the White House's message.
Cloned Giant Pandas Topple Chinese Government
Beijing, August 18, 2043 -- Cloned giant pandas have overturned the government of Chinese President Yo in an unanticipated cuddly coup d'état, diplomatic observers reported yesterday. According to Mr. Liu Wei, spokesman for President Yo, the coup is the end result of a government experimental cloning project "gone horribly wrong".
Panda Wu, Revered Revolutionary Leader of the Panda's Republic of Panda
President Carter Tells All on Three Gorges Disaster Relief Trip
Washington, DC March 3, 2010 -- Former Presidents Jimmy Carter and George W. Bush had "differing views" during their recently completed efforts to raise funds for the victims of the Three Gorges Flood. Jimmy Carter elaborated on what those differing views were during a live interview last night with Leslie Stahl on 60 Minutes.
While President Carter was pleased with the $267 million donated by Americans as a result of the work coordinated by President Bush and himself, Carter appears to be more relieved to not have to work side-by-side with President Bush any longer.
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