Donald Rumsfeld Resigns; Questions Linger

Washington, November 30, 2006 -- Donald Rumsfeld announced today that he would be stepping down as Secretary of Defense effective immediately. While his departure has been expected for sometime it is nevertheless a surprising move by the Bush administration with less than a week to go before the midterm elections take place.

Douglas Feith: Smirkier than Rumsfeld?Douglas Feith: Smirkier than Rumsfeld?

Fed Chief Bernanke Ups Interest Rates 1.25% "Just To Mess With People's Heads"

New York, January 30, 2008 -- In a surprise move that has left market analysts worldwide scratching their heads, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke raised, rather than lowered, the discount and fed funds rates by an unprecedented 1.25% this afternoon.

Fed Chief Ben BernankeFed Chief Ben Bernanke

US Open Triples Tennis Debut Reviews Mixed

Flushing, NY, September 4, 2014 -- The worldwide premier for professional triples tennis at this year's US Open tournament received mixed reviews from veteran players and commentators, but the overall audience impression was positive. First Round Match 1 in Men's Triples went as predicted, with an easy 6-0, 6-1, 6-1 defeat by favored Andy Roddick, Juan Carlos Ferrero and Rafael Nadal over unseeded players Micael Ivanonavov, Eiliat Prokotoftin and Silininorev Tjuk.

Oil Exec Sequestration May Provide Answer to Global Warming

Reno, August 12, 2012 -- A controversial proposal released today may offer a simple, easily applied solution to the intractable issues of climate change and global warming.

Oil industry executive sequestration test siteOil industry executive sequestration test site

Harriet Miers Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings: Transcript

Washington, D.C., November 16, 2005 -- Following is the complete transcript of the Harriet Miers confirmations hearings held by the Senate Judiciary Committee November 7-15, 2005. Following the confirmation hearings a decision will be made by the Committee regarding whether or not to recommend Harriet Miers, a born-again former Texas lottery supervisor, to the full Senate for confirmation as Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court.

The complete transcript follows:

Transcript begins -----

Kobe Bryant Clones Debut in 100% Kobe Bryant- Derived LA Kobe Bryants

Los Angeles, November 3, 2023 -- Cloned progeny of legendary basketball superstar Kobe Bryant will at last be making their NBA debut this Sunday as the newly-launched LA Kobe Bryants meet local rival the LA Chamberlains at Staples Arena in Los Angeles.

LA Kobe Bryants, Team PhotoLA Kobe Bryants, Team Photo

Google WTF Search Delivers

Mountain View, CA April 23, 2008 -- Nearly everyone has misplaced their keys, wallet or cell phone. Everyone has had at least one sock come up missing after the laundry has been completed. At least once a week one of the many remote controls is not where it is supposed to be. The people at Google Labs have now come to the rescue of us all with Google's latest application: Where To Find (WTF).

Bermuda Missing; May Have "Drifted Away"

Western Atlantic, April 29, 2024 -- Cartographers at the Trans-Coastal Mappery, based in Newport, Rhode Island, announced that while inspecting satellite photography of the American eastern seaboard Wednesday they discovered the island of Bermuda to be conspicuously absent. Following up on the discovery, the cartography team attempted to telephone a number of businesses and government offices known to be located on the island, but were unable to establish contact.

President Bush Commences Hunger Strike for Improved Poll Numbers

Washington, D.C., September 9, 2006 -- During an impromptu press availability in the White House Rose Garden today, President Bush announced he will, effective immediately, commence a hunger strike in pursuit of improved popularity ratings.

Marshmallow Fluff, a key ingredient in President Bush's favorite "Fluffergutter" sandwich, sacrificed for better poll numbersMarshmallow Fluff, a key ingredient in President Bush's favorite "Fluffergutter" sandwich, sacrificed for better poll numbers

Copyright © 2005-2505 AvantNews.com. All rights reserved.
Avant News contains satire and other fictional material, provided for entertainment purposes only. Disclaimer. Syndicate. Privacy.