Organic Windows Vista Virus Can Target Computers Even When Powered Down
Bolton, Wyoming, March 29, 2007 -- A new threat affecting Microsoft Windows Vista, the widely anticipated operating system already plagued by major bug issues and release delays, may seriously limit industry rollout, security analysts said today.
Closeup of the Vista Dysentery.Net-Worm virus
China First With Citizen RFID Implants
Beijing, March 19, 2010 -- A press release issued by the Chinese government today announced the countrywide implementation of a new high-tech tracking initiative designed to "increase security and prosperity for all citizens of the People's Republic of China." The plan, detailed by Zhou Bo Kai, chief executive of China's Ministry of Public Security, will involve the implantation of long-range, high-frequency RFID devices in every one of China's estimated 1.4 billion citizens over the next 18 months.
Lufthansa Airbus A380-800 Hijacked By Own Autopilot
Berlin, April 2, 2009 -- A Lufthansa A380-800 passenger aircraft carrying 523 passengers was hijacked shortly after takeoff yesterday, apparently by its own autopilot. The aircraft, which was scheduled to fly from Berlin's Tegel airport to Bangkok, Thailand, experienced a "non-standard route deviation" roughly 12 minutes into its flight.
Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie to Defuse North Korea's Nuclear Ambitions
Los Angeles, October 11, 2007 -- Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, three times voted leading members of the paparazzi "glutterati" squad, have been selected by President Bush to lead the diplomatic charge against North Korea's newfound nuclear club membership.
Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, U.S. diplomatic envoys to North Korea
Voting Machines To Be Scrapped For Applause-o-Meter
Pensacola, FL, April 22, 2007 -- Following a series of potentially flawed elections in which the integrity of voting machines was called into question, the Elections Board of Florida has made the decision to scrap the traditional voting process altogether and put in its place a new system, based on the Applause-o-Meter, with which they feel the voting public may be more comfortable.
Kermit Porter, spokesman for the Florida State Elections Commission, elaborates:
GM Reveals the 2011 HUMMER Wee
Los Angeles, November 22, 2009 -- Ailing automaker GM revealed a radical new direction for its troubled HUMMER brand with the launch today of the HUMMER Wee at the 2009 Los Angeles Auto Show.
2011 HUMMER Wee
The HUMMER Wee, according to GM spokesman Putney Shiphlick, "provides a winning combination of old-time machismo and trendy modern environmental do-gooderism".
South Carolina Pumpkin Farmer Grows World's Smallest Pumpkin
Hephzibah, South Carolina, October 30, 2007 -- A Hephzibah, South Carolina pumpkin farmer wins this year's annual "World's Smallest Pumpkin" contest with a record-small 0.23 inch (0.5842 cm) diameter, perfectly formed miniature example of the popular pulpy orange Halloween seasonal fruit.
Ozzie Crenshaw's World's Smallest Pumpkin
The farmer, Ozzie Crenshaw, said he was "real excited" to have captured the grand prize at this year's prestigious event.
Bush Backs Investment Banker Bonus Bailout In Wake of Subprime Crisis
New York, December 7, 2007 -- President George W. Bush called today for Congress to address a "growing crisis in investment banker bonuses" in the wake of the subprime mortgage disaster.
President Bush speaking at AAWP annual Christmas dinner
Fox Network Reality Show Lineup Reaches Critical Mass, Causing Massive Explosion
Los Angeles, August 22, 2006 -- Several buildings were damaged when a huge explosion rocked the Fox Entertainment pap-production compound in Los Angeles yesterday. A preliminary analysis of the debris by the Los Angeles County Explosive Ordnance Unit determined that the explosion was not caused by a terrorist act, as was first feared, but was rather triggered by the inadvertent attainment of "reality show critical mass" by the studio.
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